Time Waits For No One

My brain tells me I took this picture yesterday. The calender tells me it was 20 years ago. If my brain thinks this photo was taken yesterday, then tomorrow I will be 76 years old.

Our ride is short, each day is a gift. I thank a few friends for things they may or may not know they did for me.

Jack Hoehlein, thank you for turning me on to Garland Jeffreys music.

Freddy Muller ~ Squeeze & how to slide into a base

Steve Murphy ~ Egg Rolls

Gerard Murphy ~ Flounder stuffed with spinach

John Cupo ~ running Central Park's Bridal Path & Reservoir

Robert Marantz ~ directing me to Freefall Writing

Barbara Turner ~ collecting loose thoughts, shaping them

Cris Beam ~ collecting loose stories, shaping them

Mom ~ Irish Sandwich ~ Hellman's Mayo, Iceberg Lettuce, Wonder Bread & Hitchcock

Joannie ~ the beach

Mike "Booger" Howley ~ Tom Waits

Ellen Schecter ~ writing confidence

Pop ~ sitting on a tall stoop

Dad ~ catch, how to collect interesting crap

Nan ~ finish a job properly

Linda Goldstein's Port Authority boss in 1981 ~ Long Beach Island

thank you, Tommy

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I'm telling tonight at Cornelia Street Cafe @ 6pm along with a group of terrific storytellers, please come down.

http://www.corneliastreetcafe.com/

Later tonight, at 9pm, my guests on Yorkville: Stoops to Nuts radio show are Eric Vetter, Alex "The Assassin" De Suze and Carl (Baby Freak) Fortunato. Listen here at the Centanni link:

http://centannibroadcasting.com/index.html

Tuesday, Dec 14 - 6:00PM STORYTELLING Barbara Aliprantis
“Year End Festival Celebrating 14 Years of Storytelling” No theme, no judging, no contest, just great fun, and stories with heart Featured Teller: Thomas Pryor and Cameo slots (5/7 minute limit) for as many tellers time will allow!

http://www.barbaraaliprantisstoryteller.blogspot.com/

Ain't Nothing But A House Party

This Tuesday @ 9pm @ Yorkville: Stoops to Nuts radio show, my special guest, Adam Wade & I explore the complex, and not so complex, Boston ~ New York Sport Rivalries, Our Best and Worst Moments in Sports, as fans and participants, with Dad & without, and the steady Boston ~ New York unifier: The J Geils Band.

1972

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EX6qXwtIaU

Adam Wade, record 16 time winner of the Moth Story SLAM is taking the position J Geils can bring the bacon home and settle this battle, temporarily. We're doing the Detroit Demolition & the Philly Freeze!

We’re talking our greatest moments in sports, as fans and as players, and we’re talking our lousiest moments in sports, as players and fans. The Hatfield’s and McCoy’s are breaking bread to try and find out how this whole Boston ~ New York thing started in four sports and counting.

Centanni link below:

http://www.centannibroadcasting.com/

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New Trick! If you are a Hellman's Blue Ribbon addict, and approach your Mayo jar with a ladle, try pouring Bread & Butter Pickle Juice on the bread. I ate a bologna sandwich with no Hellman's on it and it was yummy. Just juice, I ran out of Pickles. A sandwich without Mayo is normally a dull experience. I blame my craving dependence on Mom. She taught me how to make an Irish sandwich: Wonder Bread, Iceberg Lettuce & lots of Hellman's, both sides of the bread.

"Don't Tell Me What to Do, or I'll Have My Mustache Eat Your Beard."'

YouTube is a time tunnel to youthful idiocy. Films like "What's Up Tiger Lily?" destroyed my scholastic potential.

It came out when I was 12. At 12, I'd laugh at a milk box. Then, Woody Allen dubs a horrible Japanese spy film with his own story line and dialogue and I'm spending good money to see the film three times down on 57th Street bringing different friends each time building a fan club.

Japanese detective, Phil Moscowitz, battles gangster, Shepherd Wong, yelling "Saracen Pig! Spartan Dog!" with each punch. Wing Fat desperate to locate the secret Egg Salad recipe warns Shepherd Wong, "Don't Tell Me What to Do, or I'll Have My Mustache Eat Your Beard." And he'd do it!

My favorite threat in the film: "Back off! My secret spy camera has taken pictures of you all through your clothes. Unless you release me, your naked photos will be sold in every school yard in Tokyo within the hour. Unless you are totally comfortable with your body, you must release me."

Here are a few scenes from the film. I must say, I'd be a big fan of this picture strictly because it champions Mayonnaise (Hellman's blue label, please) over Miracle Whip.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061177/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYnA6_-q4BY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U2eUZeO5Fg&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FPmp9FMRcA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jhNVDEfa44&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64mI2h419H4&feature=related

Every Picture Tells A Story

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I'm seven years old in this photo, but my life story's all there.
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I'm holding a pencil and a sharpener. I'm sitting at the end of the couch so I have ready access to my school stuff and blank paper for doodling. My pajama top is wide open up giving my belly breathing room. I'm sure the inflation was caused by a trip to the refrigerator for Swiss cheese, Wonder Bread and Hellman's mayo. My mouth's agape trying to separate the oxygen from the cigarette smoke circling the living room.
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I'm more interested in the action on the TV, then I am in my school work. I'll get to the work, but only after the show is over, and after making sure the next show isn't one of my favorites. If the next show is decent, I'll have to watch that one too, and get to the work after that, providing I don't enjoy the following show. If that show amuses me, and I'm still awake, I'll try and make it and get up early and do my homework in the morning. It's amazing what I get done during the commercials, unless the commercial is one of my favorites.
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At some point that evening, I'll be dragged to bed by my arm or leg.

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Toast to the NY Times City Section: Monday, May 4th
@ 17 Murray Street @7pm

Come toast the best editorial team in New York with Sloane Crosley (I Was Told There'd Be Cake), Saara Dutton (Mama D’s Arts Bordello), Merrill Black (contributing City writer) and Thomas Pryor.We’re celebrating the New York Times City Section, reading our neighborhood stories the City editors help craft. It's a free show with free appetizers. Barry Stabile and JJ Stadler will play old school R&B tunes after the reading.

Toast to the City @ 17 Murray Street, Monday, May 4th @7pm.
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