I'll Slice It Off!

I'm at work, its ten o'clock at night; I'm making art for a friend's birthday card and needed to use the paper cutter. My whole life I've been afraid of that device.

I went to Kindergarten at P.S. 77 on 85th Street & First Avenue. In the spring of 1960, Eisenhower was a lame duck President and the presidential campaign was kicking off. Because of Kennedy's Catholic thing, there was a buzz in my papal favorable neighborhood about the election. Everybody's parents were taking strong sides; so of course, you did too ~ just repeating whatever you heard. I was for Kennedy, and John Cupo, a five year old, staunch Republican, was for Nixon. John and I had big mouths and we fought over anything. One day, he hit me, I hit him, but the teacher, Mrs. Brown, only saw my punch. She punished me by putting me under her desk in front of the classroom.

I was pretty angry about this and when I heard Cupo laughing at me I started yelling at him from under the desk. This led to little kicks in my ass from Mrs. Brown. She leaned under the desk and told me, "If you ever expect to get out of there, be quiet for the rest of the morning." I said, "OK."

Five minutes later, I heard Cupo and at least two other guys laughing, I assumed at me, and I went a little crazy, yelling, "stupid, fat head, dummy," and other five yr old insults.

By this point, Mrs. Brown was working my ass with her foot like a bass drum. I was immune, Cupo had my goat. I kept it up.

That's when, Mrs. Brown leaned over and said, "Thomas, say one more thing, and I'll put your arm in the paper cutter and slice it off."

Not a word. I'm still scared of paper cutters.

October 24th, I'm bringing "Stoops to Nuts" home for a special show ~ my first Yorkville storytelling show @ Ryan's Daughter. It shivers, me timbers!

It happens on Wed, Oct 24th @ 7pm at Ryan's Daughter, 350 East 85th Street, (bet. 1st and 2nd Ave).

The Yorkville bound artists will knock you out: Daniel Guzman, Nicole Ferraro, Thomas Pryor, Francesca Rizzo ~ featuring music from our dreamy memories by Eric Vetter, Carlo Fortunato & Alex DeSuze & friends.

At the Ryan's show, I'll sell and sign "River to River: New York Scenes from a Bicycle,"for $10.  $3 off the list price just because I love you, Yorkville, neighborhood of my youth.


"Yorkville: Stoops to Nuts"
A Neighborhood Storytelling Show
@ Ryan's Daughter
350 East 85th Street (bet. 1st and 2nd Ave)