First of May reminds me of my 1962 First Holy Communion suit. When you’re a seven year old pig boy, Mom gets rare opportunity to dress you up and keep you dressed up in one piece.
When Mom bought me my blue outfit I didn’t know I’d have to wear it three horrifying times.
Besides the communion event, we wore our monkey suits for the Crowning of the May Queen in St. Stephen of Hungary’s Grotto on the side of the church. Since the second grade class all had new suits and pretty white dresses, the nuns drafted us into the school-wide ceremonial crowning of the Statue of Mary. Some girl was made crowner and every one else in the class were her drones. Most of the Moms showed up for this non-prime time event simply because they couldn’t believe they got their kid to dress up again.
My third appearance in the suit nearly killed me. For some reason, the nuns at St. Stephen’s school and certain mothers were compelled to put on a talent show every year, despite the fact there was no talent in the student body, if you discounted the Reinwald Brothers' dueling accordion act. In second grade, Mrs. Otis, the show's producer, took advantage of our recent clothing purchase by having the boys and girls perform a Viennese waltz in our blue suits and the girls in their white communion dresses. She insisted the boys wear white gloves. Make me vomit! I begged Mom to stay home, faked sick the morning of the show triggering a kick in the ass on my way out the door.